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Escaped primates in South Carolina reluctant to return

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Sources are saying that the roundup of the 40+ primates in the low country of SC has been painfully slow because they have all demanded a loyalty oath before returning for another session.

Known as the Palmetto Piety Project, these senate primates are revealing who they are and what they don’t stand for.  A loyalty oath is fine if it’s an oath from those elected to the people who elected them.   But to be loyal to primitive thuggery is a bridge over the Congaree too far.

These folks have never met pork they wouldn’t poach.  A cause they wouldn’t lie for.  A back they wouldn’t stab.  And that’s just among their friendly foes.  They are also known to throw bundles of cash at projects that most voters would tar and feather if they were aware of.

Of course, the Freedom Caucus rejected these pretenders once again and will continue to serve the people rather than self-serving causes.