Editorials/Opinion
The Cleansing of the Senate
As the dust settles and the fog lifts, the present group of Senators will be seen as totally out of touch with reality in various ways. Constitutionally, rationally, and ethically. The vote displayed for all to see was truly a kangaroo court, with the kangaroos winning by a wider margin than what appeared. If you looked closely at the collective jurors, you could see what the problem was. Each wore the same painful expression. One of not being “regular”. I could tell early on that the entire Senate had not been taking their medication and surely had been neglecting their fiber diets. It was so obvious. But today, I have the solution that will not only cleanse the Senate, but will set America free…as well as rid ourselves of those bloated figureheads known as Senators, or jurors.
My fellow Americans, I come to you in disgust, challenging you and calling upon you to help our great country. In the name of peace, fairness, and that beautiful word “bipartisanship”, we should congregate upon the grounds of our nation’s capitol, all packing “enema kits”, call the senators outside their plush offices, and begin administering the cure. If you can recall from history, back in the old days, when people (criminals) behaved as our senate has, the culprits would be taken to the town square and receive a public flogging. A flogging is not needed. It would only inflict temporary pain and would accomplish nothing. But, if we were to relieve these men of all the mess that’s bottled up inside of them, we would be doing a great service for the senators, ourselves, and our country, not to mention the noted change of expressions that these brave jurors would now be wearing.
If you think seriously about this, it would be almost like performing a global lobotomy on these guys, since they seem to have had their heads where the treatment should be administered! All the spin about “nothing new proven” and all the garbage about “what Clinton did was disgusting”, but yet, not bad enough to throw the bum out of office. Also, they were singing the song about “The President” being indicted after he leaves office, so why bother? That’s like saying, since it was only Monica that he messed around with, we’ll wait till he hits on one of our wives before we deem it necessary to take action. However, I will give the Democrats credit for one thing. They are a united bunch. You could have thrown a skunk in the midst of them and they would have never separated themselves. And the Republicans, in the name of bipartisanship (read as stupidity and incompetence and cowardice)continued to cater to the enemy. What the Republicans did in the Senate is comparable to sending in Mike Tyson to break up a fight.
If some of you cannot join in the “Cleansing of The Senate”, maybe you can take the time to go to your nearest drug store, purchase a kit, and overnight it to your senator. Overnight, you say? Yep, the sooner the better. After all, these guys can’t wait much longer, because if they become any fuller of themselves, this could become an ugly mess. Our help is needed immediately. Please, for the good of America, and to make yourself feel as if you’ve done your part in fighting back, let’s send these godlike Senators a nice little hot water bottle with that cute little medicinal bulb on the end.
After all, don’t we need to do this for our children? (wink-wink)