Scrooge X 2

A little place called Kensington, Maryland has become the Clymers of the beltway. Having researched and gathered a few statistics about this place, let’s look and see what these stats tell us.

Statistics & Facts (italics mine)

• The population of Kensington is approximately 1713 = 1701 upper crust leftists snobs

• The approximate number of families is 747 = Evidently 745 families too many

• The amount of land area in Kensington is 1.271 sq. kilometers = However small, still a huge waste of land

• The amount of surface water is 0 sq kilometers = And this doesn’t even begin to tell how dry these people are!

• The distance from Kensington to Washington DC is 8 miles. The distance to the Maryland state capital is 32 miles. (as the crow flies) =except crows aren’t allowed to fly in this place, banned along with Santa and smoking in your own home.

• Kensington is positioned 39.02 degrees north of the equator and 77.07 degrees west of the prime meridian = Which means this place is taking up space that could be used by a better town.

Now, getting down to the nitty-gritty, this is the people and the place who decided their comfort was more important than any rights granted by law. These idiots tried to legislate smoking from within your own home. I would say these town custodians have too much time on their hands, to turn themselves into town “criers or whiners”. Of course, all these uppity people living in these fine homes, air-tight, well-ventilated, have such a horrendous disadvantage over the rest of the people there. You see, they keep their collective noses turned up so far at the common folk, that anything with a smell will fly right up their snooty-like beaks.

Heaven forbid if a neighbor was grilling out. I guess that will cease as well. Those nasty burgers and the smell of food in the air. That will never do. How about if a neighbor has a roomful of plants and decides to let them have some natural air, and raises the windows in the room? Ah, that old sweet smell of flowers might stink up another’s yard. And we can’t have that.

It seems these people have no clue about reality. Reality is for those who can’t face drugs. At least that’s what I’ve heard. As if this little ordeal about a few people squashing the rights of others, let’s look at the latest dumb thing these same people did.

Now, they have banned Santa Claus from public Christmas tree lighting. And why? Because two stinking, selfish, spoiled, “I’m better than you” families decided that if Santa were in this event, they would be uncomfortable. Is that a crock or what? Where are the leaders of this town? Oh, they were in the midst of it all, I would venture to say.

During the past few weeks, I have witnessed, seen, and heard some idiotic things, but this ranks near the top. Banning Santa from a tree lighting because two families would be uncomfortable. Let me give you folks there in Kensington and all the other places who whine and cry and can’t handle being offended!

From an article entitled Bill of No Rights, authored by State Representative Mitchell Kay, Cobb County, Ga.

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, but some people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteed anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone – not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

There’s nothing else I could add here. In closing, I sincerely hope that your neat and homey little town is swarmed with Santas from now through Christmas, and I hope they’re all smoking cigars. It seems you people like this “in your face” kind of living, well here’s right back at you!

Ho-ho-ho.