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Editorials/Opinion

HEY AL, GOT A LIGHT?

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Of all the stupid hypocritical things I’ve heard about this moron, this one takes the cake. The man who continuously fights “Big Tobacco” has been caught, via his campaign surrogates, passing out packs of smokes to homeless people in exchange for a ride to the polls and a vote for Al. What a sweetheart. You’re doing this for the family you love so much. In the memory of your sister, right? What a putz! The man who would be all things for all people will never get it right. Even if he did, he wouldn’t know it, because before he could realize it, he would be morphed into something else.

I can’t keep up with Al’s legacy. Is it the Internet? Love Story? Love Canal? Journalism? Viet Nam? The Interstate? Popcorn? Love Beads? Pet Rocks? What? Somebody tell me, please. Al is the only person I ever saw who instead of “standing for something”, leans for something. I think that back in the days when Al was farming the south 40 there at home, he wandered too far into the pasture and a lot of that manure stuck because it sure has the smell of BS to me. Will we see him return to his wild biker days, as he claimed earlier? Ripping along in a tux with no cares in the world? Will we see him back to being an award-winning journalist, putting several criminals behind bars? If so, he could start with an Uncle or two, ya think?

I want to talk with someone who may have had the pleasure to have gone fishing with Al. Can you imagine the size of the fish that he must have caught? Trophies, all of them. He reminds me of a little kid who tries to play with the bigger boys, always yelling “Me too, me too”. You know the type, “Anything you can do, I’ve already done, and better”. When this man remarks that it’s time for a change, he means to give him a few seconds, and it will come about. As one of the late-night comics said about Gore, with all the flip-flops on issues, he could have debated himself.

I hate to think that there are enough American citizens, who are dumb enough to vote for this ticket. Surely, my fellow citizens will prove me wrong. I am not a man who votes for the party. But this is one year that I can define myself as one of those “Broken Glass Republicans”. Rain, sleet, snow, or hail could not keep me away from the voting booth on Tuesday. I’ve already alerted friends, if I should pass away before it’s time to vote, to haul my body northward, towards Chicago, and let me vote with some other dead folks. That’s the least and last thing I could do for my country, right?

Wake up America, and smell the pastures. The BS you smell is coming straight down the Tennessee Pike via Washington, D.C. and only you can put a lid on it. The only wasted vote is the vote that you fail to cast. Who cares what the “polls” say? It’s time they listen to the truth, to the real Americans who have the final say. So please, get out today and vote. Come hell or high water. You can make a difference. It’s up to you.

That’s all thank you. By the way, Al, got a light?